Well done Marcy! This really outlines how to delete recommendations gracefully and with empathy. But I hold firm…that is a thing I will never do. Unless they start talking crazy all of a sudden, my recommendations are like my friendship…here for the long haul!
Yes, same here! I intend to keep mine, though I did just remove one…a Substack expert subscribed to me here (not the one who said this thing about recommendations) just pulled their blurb, un-recommended me, and unsubscribed, after reading this post I believe. So I did pull my recommendation for that person cause clearly it was transactional to them. But everyone else, I keep!
I have never been a huge fan of proscriptive methods for deciding who and in what way I support on Substack. I think I'm currently recommending 138 publications. The number is high by sheer fluke; I genuinely feel that each publication I recommend is worth reading. Sometimes I'll go the extra mile and write a blurb. I don't have any expectation of reciprocation. That expectation feels too transactional to me. If I recommend someone and they don't recommend me back, their writing resonated with me more than mine did with theirs. don't take it personally. I'm honored that I found their writing; the rest is a bonus. We all have unique tastes and I try to honor that in this creative space.
Yes! I love all of what you said here. I never thought of it being transactional until people started talking about swaps. I always just did it if I liked a person’s writing. That’s why I advocate for all of us just sticking with our original instincts and gut feelings. So much of the outside stuff can trio us up and get in our way, even if it is well-meaning.
I really appreciate this explanation, advice, and permission, Marcy! Sometimes I feel like I want to recommend a lot of folks and sometimes I feel like I only want to recommend a very well-curated list. I think lately, I'm leaning into recommending generously because we're all multi-faceted, and I want to trust my readers to self-curate.
Oh that is a good point I had not considered, Ellen! Trusting our readers to self-curate…I like that.
I find that I just am a very enthusiastic person who likes to support a lot of people, so I’m going to stick with that rather than worry about what others might think. I’m learning every day to just be more and more myself. Sure, I might change my mind someday, but this is how I like it right now.
Yes! Definitely in a season of just being myself and worrying less and less what others think. If we're showing up as ourselves, we'll find the folks who are aligned. It might take longer or look different than following what the experts say, but it'll be more honest and (based on what I'm learning so far) more fun!
I’m a recommender😉. If I read a great book/article or watch a great documentary or eat a great meal out, IRL, I will always share that info with people in my circle I think will, like me, appreciate it. (Ok and sometimes strangers - some things are just so darn good!)
I bring that same enthusiasm and generosity to Substack because it’s just how I choose live in the world.
Thanks for all your great tips and resources, as always! I added your publication as a recommendation today because I genuinely think more people should know about the awesomeness that is CollabStack - just wanted to tell you that! ☀️
Thank you for this. I don’t swap recommendations. I recommend reads I love. I'm recommended by only 9 people at this point, but am so grateful for each of them. I've had people find me who may never have without those recommendations. They can be a very powerful traffic driver.
They can be quite powerful! Which is why people want more of them, of course. But for all those people who genuinely recommend us, it does feel good to know they are supporting us and cheering us on! It feels like a special honor!
Thank you, Sam! I tried my best to be balanced with it. At the end of the day, I just want us all to listen more to ourselves and our own instincts with this stuff. In the end, that’s what I find always feels best.
I have heard of Substackers rotating their recommendations. So, they might recommend a Substack publication for about four months (or whatever length of time they choose), then choose a few others for the next four months, etc.
This is insightful and very interesting Marcy, and it answers a couple of questions I had.
Just to clarify, if you know the answer - do others know when you've de-activated your recommendation if there is no blurb? Or is it only when the blurb gets removed? This makes me feel bad now, I've deactivated some recs and I worry what the writer might've thought 😓
I've never done a Recommendation Swap, it's always been unsolicited on both my part and theirs. But I admit to feeling some trepidation when other writers so kindly recommend me. I'm flattered but then wonder, do I recommend them back? Are they expecting it? Again, there was no arrangement or swap (I'm not sure I'm a fan of this idea, tbh) so no pressure, but...were they thinking there should've been?
I'm guilty of overthinking things in general, so...that's worth bearing in mind!
Oh yes, this is a good thing to clarify! No, if there is not a blurb, you do not receive a notification. Or at least I never have. The only way I would know, if there was no blurb, is if I checked my recommendations and scrolled through the list to see which are active. That’s why when there is no blurb, I said you can choose whether or not to reach out. But just ultimately continue supporting them in other ways, with likes or restacks, etc. This helps when I happen to see that someone did deactivate a rec, cause I know they are still a fan of my work and it’s not personal.
And it’s not expected that we swap or exchange recommendations if there is not a conversation about that…at least from my perspective! I can’t speak for everyone of course, but I personally don’t expect one in return unless I’ve agreed to do a swap. And I’ve never heard of anyone else expecting it when they didn’t have a convo about swapping.
It’s super easy to overthink this stuff! I do all the time!
Well done Marcy! This really outlines how to delete recommendations gracefully and with empathy. But I hold firm…that is a thing I will never do. Unless they start talking crazy all of a sudden, my recommendations are like my friendship…here for the long haul!
Yes, same here! I intend to keep mine, though I did just remove one…a Substack expert subscribed to me here (not the one who said this thing about recommendations) just pulled their blurb, un-recommended me, and unsubscribed, after reading this post I believe. So I did pull my recommendation for that person cause clearly it was transactional to them. But everyone else, I keep!
I have never been a huge fan of proscriptive methods for deciding who and in what way I support on Substack. I think I'm currently recommending 138 publications. The number is high by sheer fluke; I genuinely feel that each publication I recommend is worth reading. Sometimes I'll go the extra mile and write a blurb. I don't have any expectation of reciprocation. That expectation feels too transactional to me. If I recommend someone and they don't recommend me back, their writing resonated with me more than mine did with theirs. don't take it personally. I'm honored that I found their writing; the rest is a bonus. We all have unique tastes and I try to honor that in this creative space.
Yes! I love all of what you said here. I never thought of it being transactional until people started talking about swaps. I always just did it if I liked a person’s writing. That’s why I advocate for all of us just sticking with our original instincts and gut feelings. So much of the outside stuff can trio us up and get in our way, even if it is well-meaning.
I really appreciate this explanation, advice, and permission, Marcy! Sometimes I feel like I want to recommend a lot of folks and sometimes I feel like I only want to recommend a very well-curated list. I think lately, I'm leaning into recommending generously because we're all multi-faceted, and I want to trust my readers to self-curate.
Oh that is a good point I had not considered, Ellen! Trusting our readers to self-curate…I like that.
I find that I just am a very enthusiastic person who likes to support a lot of people, so I’m going to stick with that rather than worry about what others might think. I’m learning every day to just be more and more myself. Sure, I might change my mind someday, but this is how I like it right now.
Yes! Definitely in a season of just being myself and worrying less and less what others think. If we're showing up as ourselves, we'll find the folks who are aligned. It might take longer or look different than following what the experts say, but it'll be more honest and (based on what I'm learning so far) more fun!
Oh, I love this. And yes, I'd rather recommend generously and let my readers decide for themselves.
I’m a recommender😉. If I read a great book/article or watch a great documentary or eat a great meal out, IRL, I will always share that info with people in my circle I think will, like me, appreciate it. (Ok and sometimes strangers - some things are just so darn good!)
I bring that same enthusiasm and generosity to Substack because it’s just how I choose live in the world.
Making it transactional is not even on my radar.
I found this very helpful! Starting to get lots of ppl asking to do this and wasn't sure how to handle. Thank you.
Thanks for all your great tips and resources, as always! I added your publication as a recommendation today because I genuinely think more people should know about the awesomeness that is CollabStack - just wanted to tell you that! ☀️
Thank you so much for recommending CollabStack, Breeann! It’s very much appreciated. Here’s to more awesome people joining our community!
Thank you for this. I don’t swap recommendations. I recommend reads I love. I'm recommended by only 9 people at this point, but am so grateful for each of them. I've had people find me who may never have without those recommendations. They can be a very powerful traffic driver.
They can be quite powerful! Which is why people want more of them, of course. But for all those people who genuinely recommend us, it does feel good to know they are supporting us and cheering us on! It feels like a special honor!
Very true. We can wear them like streamers on our handlebars.
Well stated, Marcy. Appreciate this post! I found it quite balanced and helpful!
Thank you, Mary Beth! I hope it helps people get some clarity around how they’d like to handle recommendations.
This is very insightful and well balanced. These are great tips that show compassion for all. Agree with all points here. 💯
Thank you, Sam! I tried my best to be balanced with it. At the end of the day, I just want us all to listen more to ourselves and our own instincts with this stuff. In the end, that’s what I find always feels best.
Hi Marcy,
I have heard of Substackers rotating their recommendations. So, they might recommend a Substack publication for about four months (or whatever length of time they choose), then choose a few others for the next four months, etc.
This is insightful and very interesting Marcy, and it answers a couple of questions I had.
Just to clarify, if you know the answer - do others know when you've de-activated your recommendation if there is no blurb? Or is it only when the blurb gets removed? This makes me feel bad now, I've deactivated some recs and I worry what the writer might've thought 😓
I've never done a Recommendation Swap, it's always been unsolicited on both my part and theirs. But I admit to feeling some trepidation when other writers so kindly recommend me. I'm flattered but then wonder, do I recommend them back? Are they expecting it? Again, there was no arrangement or swap (I'm not sure I'm a fan of this idea, tbh) so no pressure, but...were they thinking there should've been?
I'm guilty of overthinking things in general, so...that's worth bearing in mind!
Oh yes, this is a good thing to clarify! No, if there is not a blurb, you do not receive a notification. Or at least I never have. The only way I would know, if there was no blurb, is if I checked my recommendations and scrolled through the list to see which are active. That’s why when there is no blurb, I said you can choose whether or not to reach out. But just ultimately continue supporting them in other ways, with likes or restacks, etc. This helps when I happen to see that someone did deactivate a rec, cause I know they are still a fan of my work and it’s not personal.
And it’s not expected that we swap or exchange recommendations if there is not a conversation about that…at least from my perspective! I can’t speak for everyone of course, but I personally don’t expect one in return unless I’ve agreed to do a swap. And I’ve never heard of anyone else expecting it when they didn’t have a convo about swapping.
It’s super easy to overthink this stuff! I do all the time!